Let This Pass

Allow. Me. To take time. To breathe.



Allow me to let this pass..

Just even a little amount of time. I am asking you to let me take time to let this pass.


Because right now, my chest feels heavy. Like a heart sulking in insecurity. In uncertainty. In worry. In fear. In guilt. In shame. And in pain.

I do not know how to handle this one. I'm trying to think otherwise, trying to be positive, trying to ignore that pain and longing.

But it just feels odd, like a massive weight has been pulling down ropes that tighten around my heart. When I think about you and I think about her, when I think about you with her, then I think about us. These thoughts shouldn't be in my head right now, right? Today is our day. But I don't know why I don't feel I should be happy honoring this day. Sorry, but this is just what I feel right now.

I hope this feeling will pass. I just hope I will be fine. Everything will just be going fine.


After all, against all odds, I still believe love can conquer.


It's what that matters to me right now.

That Odd Feeling

That odd feeling surfaces again.. feels more like a heavy mass of air inside your lungs, or perhaps a huge space inside your heart that has just become void.

Yes, I guess so.. I'm 'feeling blue' again.

And it gradually came just in a few moments in the midst of the day's hustle. Never thought it would make me feel it again.

So in all this preoccupation, a part of my mind was looking for probable causes so my reasoning can give up.

Very well, maybe, just maybe, I am missing somebody.

Be Free

I don't wish to give up.


But I'm letting you go. Be free. From all fated pain. For all misery that are yet to come.

You don't have to worry any more.

And you don't have to go through all the hurt.


You don't deserve it.




You deserve happiness that lasts.

You don't have to live in gladness that is just short-lived.



So go.. go away.

And if you may want, don't come back. Save yourself. Please. From all heartbreaks. From all frustration. From all hopeless expectations.

Because you don't deserve this. You deserve to be happy. Find it.


Be free.

Sunrise and Sunsets

Whenever the sun rises in the morning as you see it saying 'hello' from the mountains, as its rays peek through the leaves of trees and reach your skin, one can feel that special warmth that somehow radiates into you. It feels like the sun is beaming into you, as though it sends a warm welcome into the day. What a good morning it's going to be.

Whenever I'm in this, I find myself smiling inward. Truth be admitted, I'm not an early bird. In fact I find myself tucking in the comforts of my bed in the morning and if not of some day's expected labors or studies,  I would rather have stayed. But this sleepyhead couldn't just ignore that mild appreciation of such beauty that seems like ordinary to others who have gone through the routine of doing morning errands.

Maybe I'm just too lazy or perhaps I'm too busy to look at the path I'm walking whenever I go out of the house in the morning. But whenever my sight catches such splendor of the sunrise peeking through the mountains or feel the rays through the leaves of the trees, my thoughts take break from the concerns of the day that I start to dictate from the daily to-do lists. That's a simple wonder my soul appreciates even for a second. Oftentimes I say to myself, how unlucky I am to miss such scenery if I don'n notice it every morning.

Sunsets, too, have equally immense impact to me. In this melancholic soul, who wouldn't believe it won't? 

It is in catching this view from the bay-walk that leaves me in awe.. and in deep reflection. Some say that a sunset symbolizes a positive outlook - it signals new and coming start the next day. But oftentimes it leaves an impression of a blue feeling to me. It makes one remember some events in the past that only in your far corners of memories you hide. It brings back streaks of nostalgic emotions that are somehow built up within you some time ago, or even at that moment. 

Whatever the impression it leaves to anyone, it cannot be denied that these beautiful symbols of the times of day are God's gift to mankind. How it appears touches the heart of someone who's looking at it and only he/she knows the message it carries...

That Ordinary Day

It was an ordinary day. Yea, just the normal way the things go on that usual day. Thought it would be a day of your break, not following your routine and just stay home. Nevertheless, you just went on. Yet something, or should I say, someone you did not expect (somehow) to appear came. Ooh well, and look at that smile of yours so little became warm and sweet and everything. Apparently, you realize, he's the reason why.

Fits Into That Place in Your Heart

Sometimes someone says something really small and it just fits right into this empty place in your heart.


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Simply Let Go

You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy.


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To Be In Action

I suddenly feel that odd feeling when I try to reminisce some good old deeds before. It was then I realized I miss that.

I miss myself in action. The kind of scenario when I'm in the middle of instruction or facilitating a team or group of individuals. I miss the leader in me. I miss the feeling of being a facilitator. I miss the feeling of being a teacher or a trainer. I miss the times when I raise my voice along with all the energy and effort and heart and sweat and blood in me to give directions, advisory, information, steps, or just any other stuff. It feels like I can really feel my energy kicking alive. It makes me competitive. It makes me thinking creatively and critically. It pumps my adrenaline. It gives me life.

I guess it happens even for once in your life. That sort of thing when you didn't mind it before but in the present makes you remember how you felt really alive when you do those things. You thought you have not yet found it as something that can fulfill what you were looking for, but actually, it was one of where you found you can derive that pleasure of service, that passion, that excitement, that rush, that dedication.

Yet now you're in a different world, sailing on a different shore, doing a different chore - and you miss it. You miss those tasks before. Those things where you find yourself pouring your heart out. Those times when you yourself is in denial that you have not yet declared those were your call.